No! Not here in Kansas City!

I was just perusing breaking stories as I read email when all of a sudden I saw a headline that I thought would be great to have some fun with: "Woman found fused to vinyl chair." I figured I had to check it out, you know, see where she's from and write a short piece about it. I thought it would be perfect if she's from, oh, I don't know, Arkansas? Mississippi? Alabama? Anywhere South or Southeast from here. The nightmare? I read the first sentence and find out the world is presently reading she's from RIGHT HERE IN SUBURBAN KANSAS CITY. Serves me right. The "silver lining" for me, if there is one, is that it happened in Independence. Link: http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/missouri-woman-found-with-skin-fused-to-chair-son-says-she-wanted-to-be-left-to-die-at-home/2011/11/09/gIQAnIGB6M_story.html