Apple? That's it? That's all ya' got?

As we all know, the new Apple company--you know, the one without Steve Jobs--had yet another product release this last week.

Yes, they did.

And whoop-ti-freaking-do.

Apple unveils two new iPhones -- the 5S and 5C 

One's a cheaper model and the other offers colors.

Zounds.

Forgive me if I'm neither impressed nor dissuaded from thinking that unless things change at that company, they're going down.

Not even a bigger screen.

Seriously, Mr. Cook?

That's all y'all can come up with?