Joke of the day

"Romney proves with a little hard work and a little luck, even a multimillionaire white guy from Harvard can succeed in this country." —Jay Leno from "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno"

I'm so old...

I know who Paul Lynde was. For that matter, I'm so old I was alive when they let people smoke on TV. I can also either name each person on this "roast" or what they starred in. THAT old...

Bill Maher on the Republican's view of President Obama

"It isn't the entree' they don't like. It's the waiter." --Bill Maher on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno", Sept. 9, 2011

Quote of the day--it's all agin' us

"It's a shitty world and the fix is in. The drinks are watered, the decks are stacked and the laws are cobwebs for the rich and chains for the poor. You can eat all you want, but that's because they know you'll just fill up on bread. The House always wins and democracy means you get to choose between two straight male protestant businessmen who went to school together. Meanwhile the oil rigs explode and the wars go on and the taxpayers pay the bankers' bonuses because a contract's a contract. In sæculum, et in sæculum sæculi. Like the Jerk said, it's a profit deal, and anyone who tells you different is either protecting you or they don't know what they're talking about." And get this--it's actually from a comedian, writing comedy. I love this guy. Link to original post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-kelly/i-love-america-because-no_b_635696.html

What good is a bunch of kooks if you can't get some laughs out of them?

"What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down — but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally." —Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher

"Well, tomorrow in Nashville, Sarah Palin will speak at the Tea Party Convention. Tickets are $550 apiece. Where are they getting this tea, Starbucks?" —Jay Leno, The Tonight Show

"The Tea Party nation announced last week that Sarah Palin will headline what is being called the first national Tea Party convention in February. It is expected to be the nation's largest ever gathering of misspelled signs." —Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live

"At a Tea Party rally in Boston yesterday, Sarah Palin praised the crowd for winning that Senate race in Massachusetts. She said: 'Shoot, look at what you did in January. You shook up the United States Senate.' Unfortunately, no one heard the Senate thing, because after she said 'shoot,' 300 guns went off." —Jimmy Fallon, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

"Federal taxes last year when down for 98 percent of people, but when asked about this, only 12 percent of the Teabaggers thought this was the case. 88 percent of them had it wrong. And a spokesman for the Teabaggers said, 'We don't want to just be taxed less. We want to be taxed less by a white guy." —Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher

Link to original post:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2010/05/19/tea-party-jokes.htm